Aaaaaah!!! Cougar!!!
September 15, 2009
I know that's a weird heading for a post… but I'm a little antsy right now. We just got a news report that there have been two "possible" sightings of a cougar in the western suburbs of Chicago in the last week - one last Friday and one this afternoon. Aaaah!! I live in the western suburbs of Chicago! But wait - it gets worse… both sightings were in a little town called Wheaton! Aaaah!! I live in Wheaton! But wait - it gets worse… both sightings were by joggers in the vacinity of Northside Park on the north side of Wheaton!! Aaaaah!! I'm a jogger!! And I jog - three times a week - around Northside Park! The very same park where cougars are apparently popping up out of the daffodils! I ran all the way around Northside Park twice last Friday - the day of one of the "possible" cougar sightings! Aaaah!!
"Things were going so well with JellyTelly - until Phil was taken out by a cougar."
Aaaaahhh!!!
If I don't make it back from my next jog… sniff… Bill can have the new camera… sniff…
Posted in Phil News
September 15th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
Wow! Next thing you know they’ll be showing up in restaurants in Chicago. Oh wait… that already happened…
I’ll be praying that you survive your tri-weekly jogging and that no more jungle animals start popping up in the western suburbs!
September 15th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
Don’t flatter yourself — cougars are only interested in younger guys. I think you’re safe.
September 15th, 2009 at 11:36 pm
Bob the Tomato Gets Eaten by a Cougar
That would be the worst Veggie Tales episode ever.
September 16th, 2009 at 12:33 am
How weird that there are cougars! And how weird that A Prairie Home Companion just did an episode about cougars this past weekend.
September 16th, 2009 at 2:48 am
I suggest carrying a cucumber and a tomato (perhaps a few carrots, grapes, etc.) in your pocket, and if you come across any cougars, feed them the veggies? I hear some cougars are vegetarian and getting fresh veggies makes them wag their veggie tails…
September 16th, 2009 at 10:42 am
No way, Phil — the whole thing sounds highly unlikely. Mercury hasn’t made the Cougar in years.
September 16th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Two sightings? If you lived in Denver, I might be concerned. If a circus or zoo reported a lion missing in the area, I might be concerned. I’ve seen some mighty big dogs in the city, including a yellow one that, from a distance, looked like a lion. And now that it’s in the news, people are suddenly going to start reporting lions and tigers and bears all over Wheaton and other suburban cities. Don’t flatter yourself. Wheaton hasn’t been a small town for 40 or 50 years.
September 16th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Come on Phil, JellyTelly will continue under the watchful eye of Buck Denvor. In fact I have it on good authority that he has had an eye on your position for quite some time.
September 16th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
We all need a legitimate excuse for not going out for a jog once in a while.
September 16th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
OH NOES!!! If u ever see the cougar, make yourself look very Large and make very loud noises such as clapping your hands, stomping, yelling, blowing raspberries! anything to scare away the cougar. and you could probably turn up your ipod too. hope that helps!
September 16th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
*gulp* Be careful Phil.
and you posted yesterday….
September 16th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
What’s the difference between a cougar and a jaguar?
September 16th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
I think it’s a chihuahua in cougar’s clothing. Just sayin’.
September 17th, 2009 at 3:38 am
cougars eat people with names starting with “V”; jaguars prefer folks with names starting with “P”…
lol
September 17th, 2009 at 11:49 am
The town should be filling with younger, tenderer, college students. So I don’t think you have to worry, Phil.
(I will, however, feel horrible if students start getting taken out by cougars.
)
September 17th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
If one of them is devouring you, there’s not much difference between a jaguar and a cougar. That’s probably the most important fact to keep in mind at this point.
September 17th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Wow, Phil. Watch out for those cougars! Maybe you could yodel to it to try to get it go away.
September 17th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
With all due respect, I don’t like these new fangled (and possibly fanged) felines. I’d rather stick with the traditional lions.
September 18th, 2009 at 4:59 am
Eh, I bet it’s just a coyote.